Spiraling out of Control & Reeling It Back In

I'm an extremist. In many ways.

I'm always on either end of the spectrum never floating somewhere in between.


I either give myself wholly to my work or I don't.

Either I'm overachieving or I'm not making any effort at all.


I either suppress my emotions in an effort to control them


I let my emotions overwhelm me and control me.


I'm either overflowing and ready to pour into others and turned on to serve and be sympathetic


I'm empty, not ready to pour into others and turned off from sympathy.

I make this confession not as a boast concerning my extremist ways but as a way to reel in my perspective of myself so that I don't spiral out of control. It's not okay. I don't want to be constantly changing positions between the extreme ends of two poles. God is just and the explicit implication is that He delights in balance.

"A false balance is abomination to the LORD: but a just weight is His delight." Proverbs 11:1

The one that I'd like to get under godly balance the most is the spiritual aspect.

Walking in love means being others serving and not self serving. That should never be turned off.

I was talking to my big sister last night and I told her that the solution to that problem is to remain plugged into God so that I'm always full enough to be able to pour into others regardless of the time of day.

Considering my future in ministry it will not be enough to pour into people all day long and then be too tired, too irritable to be able to pour into someone who calls in desperation in the middle of the night. I need to be able to pour into that person too they may need me even more than all the others and I have to be spiritually coherent enough to give them the godly encouragement they will need. That's really living like Jesus and putting others before yourself.

Of course I must also learn the healthy way to express my emotions without suppressing them or letting them overwhelm me and most importantly I must submit my feelings to my faith and not the opposite.

As for academics eh, my biggest problem is time management and procrastination if I can get a handle on that I'll be fine. That is going to require a new mind set.

So yea...it seems as though I KNOW what needs to be done. But knowing is only half the battle (G.I. Joe) the other half is actually putting what you know into practice.

Time to Nike. Just Do It.

Wishing all of you a day of prayer, favor and success.

Love & Light