Sometimes Life Happens...
It's a journey. Life.
It's one long journey.
Of course there are pit stops on the way to eternity's final destination.
And sometimes we stay stopped in one place for a longer time than we do in some others.
Is happening. All the time. All around us.
This journey is filled with downs as well as ups
There are high highs and low lows.
And you gotta roll with 'em.
Here's the deal. I found myself submerged in deep thought for the past couple days.
I got by in the physical realm..well because I have a job and responsibilities.
But really I've been living in my own head.
Analyzing. Thinking. Processing. Re-thinking. Creating. Destroying. Re-building. Demolishing. Questioning.
...And when I do that...I make myself a little crazy. It's like a tsunami ragining in my chest. Thoughts crashing like waves. One after the other.
But on the outside is a super mellow version of me because I'm so locked away and engaged in thought.
I zone out more often than not. And I give a weak closed mouth smile when people look to me for a response.
I almost made myself completely miserable this morning trying to figure out how I break out of this living-in-my-head cycle. But somewhere between my being honest with people asking me what's going on I found myself being more comfortable. It's all about perception. It seems better or at least less awkward for people if you give them a disclaimer "Hey, I'm not totally with it at the moment. I'm otherwise occupied with deep contemplation."
Instead of consciously seeking a way to break free from this cycle this particular spell ended with me embracing it.
Life is happening to me.
To me! I have a life. That thought alone is screwy and I could dwell on it for another week...and I won't say I will not dwell on it because chances are I just might...
But I digress.
My point is that for a great deal of my life (so far) I've liked to be in control. I liked knowing what I was getting into. I liked calculating all the possible consequences of my decisions which in reality made me extremely indecisive.
So I'm learning. That's a large part of this journey. Learning.
Learning about myself. Learning to deal with the decisions I've made. Learning not to get worked up over what I can't control including people and the way they respond to different situations. Learning that it's okay to have a moment here and there but then it's time to move on.
Life isn't waiting.
I used to resent that fact. Especially after the death of someone. It's tough to have your world come to a complete hault and see others still going on with their lives.
And that can be a negative of living in your head; expecting other people to understand or wait on you to come out of hibernation.
Life is always moving.
Full speed ahead.
We all have to experience time-out moments but they different from person to person. And you can't be upset when you have to take your time-out alone. And be understanding when you're ready to move forward and someone you'd like to bring along is having their moment.
The road ahead maybe filled with bumps, mistakes, heartbreak, betrayal, frustration, disappointments, death, and sorrow...but it's also filled with triumphs, laughter, love, success, smiling, happiness, hope, and lessons learned.
Pack light. It only works in your favor not have all the weighty baggage that hurt, unforgiveness, bitterness, and/or grudges can bring.
Bring your own sunshine.
And walk on pilgrims.
Thoughts of Love & Light