I'm IN Love with You
It's nice to hear the words "I love you", Especially when we know they are heartfelt. But there's always that debate about the difference between loving someone and being "in" love with someone...
For one reason or another, hearing "I'm in love with you" tends to be a little more intimidating.
Especially if the person who says it is amazing and our own insecurities make us feel incapable of being loved in such a deep way.
God is in love with me.
He's told me that. As if hearing it from a human wasn't intimidating enough! God loving me? That's a hard pill to swallow but easier to comprehend because He loves everybody!
But Him being in love with me? Is that even allowed?
His love for us, and in this case, me, extends beyond the love of family it's more intimate - there's a reason the Bible gives us metaphors about Jesus being the bridegroom and the church being His bride. He's in love with us.
Consciously, most of us would say, that we would never "fall in love" with someone who is incapable of loving. (Although, many people still do that unconsciously.) We simply don't have the patience for that. We may not be able to deal with being rejected by someone we're in love with over and over and over again.
But God is in love with me. And I have been incapable of loving, truly loving, for a while because I had become numb to so many things. But even when I rejected Him, God continued to love me. He was patient with me. He refused to give up on me. He took a hold of my hand and told me that He will teach me how to love.
A wife should know the way to her husband's heart. And a husband should know the way to His wife's heart.
Jesus has made it clear that the way to His heart is by obeying His commandments (John 14:15).
Because He formed me, God knows the way to my heart.
I love food. No secret there. LOL. HE has been Jehovah Jireh - particularly with putting food on my table in times when I have no money for groceries or to buy something to eat.
GOD also knows that despite the hardened guise I have worn, despite my subtle cynicism, I am a hopeless romantic! Picnics in the park...etc. I eat that stuff up! But more than even that I love words...I love tangible words...I love, sweet little notes of love, whether in the form of a song or a letter or a text message or an email. I used to save every one that I got. The power in love letters is that they usually address some emotional need or desire for affirmation that I may or may not be aware of.
I've been experiencing a season of crushing in my life, so far it's lasted about a month and a half. It's really an emotionally volatile time. I have been out of practice as it concerns managing my emotions and so breaking down all these walls that I had built up has been an intimidating and daunting task. It's draining. It's exhausting. I'm often emotionally frayed and fatigued.
I have told God many times in the last month that I simply cannot handle this, that I don't want to do this anymore, but He gives me His strength in those moments of honesty and I find myself able to get through another day.
Long story short. I've been reading the book of Jeremiah and I found a love letter addressed to me. It's beautiful. And it addresses everything I've been experiencing in this season. And it's from God. It goes as follows...
I'm in love with you. I know you feel like you don't fit in anywhere. I know you feel like an outcast, a reject, a misfit. I know this process of opening old wounds to properly address them has been hard on you. But "I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal...because they have called you an outcast: 'It is Cara; no one cares about her.'" (Jer. 30:17). I know that you wonder how I could love you even in those times when you rejected me but understand that "I have loved you with an EVERLASTING love [it does not end, it will not end]; therefore I have Continued my Faithfulness to you" (Jer. 31:3).
I knew you were hurt and sad long before you knew it, felt it, or acknowledged it. I know that you long to be truly happy once more and that's why we have to go through such a painful process. A self-protective and hardened heart in trying to keep out pain and hurt also cripples its ability to truly experience love and joy. Sensitivity means working through the hurt and the pain. But this is my promise to you, I will turn your mourning into joy, I will comfort you, I will give you gladness for sorrow (Jer. 31:3). You will be satisfied with my treasures (Jer. 31:14). There is a reward for your work [for seeing this process through to the end] (Jer. 31:16). There is hope for your future (Jer. 31:17). I know this process can be draining. I know you can get fatigued. But "I will satisfy you when you are weary. I will replenish you when you faint" (Jer. 31:25). I know guilt tries to paralyze you. But I have forgiven you iniquity. I remember your sin no more (Jer. 31:34).
I'm here for you. I'm here with you. So "call to me and I will answer you and I will tell you great and hidden things you have not known" (Jer. 33:3). I know the process is painful. I know you feel raw and exposed. I am going to bring recovery and healing. I will heal you. I will reveal to you abundance of prosperity and security (Jer. 33:6). I know rediscovering how you were wired seems intimidating but "I will build you as you were [wired] at first" (Jer. 33:7). Do not let the past memories we're working through hold you hostage in guilt. "I have cleansed you from all guilt. I have forgiven the guilt of your sin. I have forgiven your rebellion" (Jer. 33:8).
Cara-Marie, you will be to me a name of joy, a praise and a glory before all the world. And the world will hear of all the good I do for you and they will fear and tremble because of all the good and prosperity I provide for you (Jer. 33:9). I died for you. Then rose again so you could be with me. There isn't anything I would not do for you.
I'm in love with you,