Wedding Wednesdays: The Bride Who Knows
Happy Wednesday Love Birds!! I get married in Exactly 100 days -
Let the countdown begin!
"Onward" as my dear fiancé said.
At this point - I can say with complete conviction that I am excited!!
I can't wait to become Mrs. Findlay -
Typing that made me blush and made my tummy flutter!
It's been a journey so far.
Pulling all the plans together,
…But it ALL has been good for me.
Even when tensions have been high and when I've felt overwhelmed.
Wedding planning has forced me to mature and grow in areas that I allowed to lay dormant, mainly, continuing to speak up even when its uncomfortable and not compromising on what Danny and I have decided we want. I've seen the growth!
One thing I have learned is that it is OKAY to change my mind. Re-examing all my options or receiving additional information that proves one option is better than another and making changes accordingly is OKAY.
Changing my mind Does Not make me an indecisive bridezilla.
I came across this excerpt on psych-your-mind.blogspot.com:
"Brides who take the lead in planning their weddings may find themselves caught between opposing pressures.The ideals of femininitywrapped up in the traditional bridal role--innocence, submissiveness, sweetness--are not very compatible with the demands of being an effective wedding planner. Successfully navigating the sometimes ruthless wedding industry requires assertiveness, tough negotiation skills, and the ability to make decisions that won't necessarily please everyone.Behaviors such as these that deviate from the feminine ideal can come dangerously close to the "bridezilla" stereotype. Brides may feel torn between wanting to appear pleasantly agreeable and wanting to stand up for themselves on important issues, such as budgetary concerns."
But being assertive, tough, and making decisions and sticking to them or changing your mind in order to make a better decision DOES NOT make me or any other woman who does this a bridezilla.
It just makes her, or me in this case, a bride who knows how to navigate through the endless options to find what she wants.
So yes, I did have to speak up and voice my wishes or disagreement with certain things, if for nothing more than simple personal preference.
Yes, I fired my wedding coordinator when I realized that we weren't on the same page and our expressed wishes as a couple weren't being considered.
Being assertive, tough, or speaking up loudly enough so that your voice isn't drowned out and is taken seriously isn't always easy or fun. But I have found it is necessary.
Thank GOD I have been gifted with a life partner who encourages me and is the support I need to be assertive and tough. I often rely on his strength but I'm glad that I'm whole enough to do it even when he's absent.
TO THE WOMEN & BRIDES WHO KNOW
- A wedding is for the marriage, the marriage isn't just for the wedding. A wedding is one-day set aside to celebrate a life long marriage.
- That the most important guests at the wedding are GOD and the groom
- The show can and must go on even if and when perfect plans fail and the sky falls
- It takes a strong woman to submit
- Marriage is two whole people coming together, complementing each other rather than completing each other and working as partners…FOREVER
- "No," is a full sentence.
- It's okay to ask for help.
- It's okay to change your mind.
- It's okay to stick with your gut instincts even when its hard to articulate or give a verbal explanation.
- That you can be tough and assertive without being a bridezilla.
- You can free yourself from those things and/or people that may be holding you back.
I will see the rest of this wedding planning through…and hire a day of coordinator. But on November 1st, 2014 the most important thing will be meeting Danny at the end of that walk down the aisle.
On that day, I fully intend to be a carefree bride.
Here's to knowing!
Love. &. Light to all.