Wedding Wednesdays: What's in a Wedding?
It's WEDNESDAY!! Oh, Wednesday, fancy seeing you again. Pilgrims, I hope you're experiencing a day filled with joy and peace.
I have found that in the last couple days I've had to make a conscious effort of keeping my joy and peace. I've had to be on guard because my own feelings can mislead me so easily. However, I know
"The effort required is well worth it."
Subconsciously, that is something I have been telling myself for some time now. People around me have also been encouraging me with the same sentiment just using different words.
As I typed it, I realized how much that statement has propelled me through this journey, particularly with wedding planning and marriage preparation.
I'm not a quitter but LORD knows I've been tempted. Usually, the temptation to quit comes when we are tired from our efforts and when we don't know what is coming as a result of all our effort.
Seeing the results of our efforts for their full value, that's a GOD thing.
HE sees the end from the beginning but HE doesn't always tell us what the end looks like, we're just instructed to follow HIM. I know HIS eyes are better than ours (#understatement) and the value of what comes at the end may be something we would not be able to recognize even if HE showed us.
And that's why there's a process.
The process is for us not for GOD, HE already gets it.
Yesterday, I was reminded, while engaged in a conversation, that there is a greater value to this wedding than I may have already realized. It's something that goes deeper than a testimony of GOD's goodness to our parents, than families getting together for a happy occasion, than friends reuniting for good times, and it's even deeper than two people joining their lives and formally aligning their individual purposes to forge an even greater joint purpose.
It's something beyond all of that, something I'm missing but that GOD has not missed.
And that reality has me living in a light that demands I recognize that this wedding is not about me.
Sure, I'll be doted on. And I'd be lying if I said I'm not looking forward to that.
But It's not my day.
If it were my day, something I was in charge of and could control, then the temptation to quit would have turned this wedding day into a day at the courthouse about 9 months ago lol (#IJS).
And maybe this "something" that is beyond my recognition, is something that will not be recognizable for years.I won't obsess over discovering what it is, it just has to be enough to know it exists. (I feel like I'm rambling and I wish I could articulate that knowing feeling I have better but that's all I have right now. I suppose that's the thing about transparency, sometimes you know to share but don't understand why, when you haven't even figured it out yourself.)
So with only 9 days to go until November 1st - this is our wedding planning reality -
- Last night I had a 2 hour phone call with our extremely capable coordinator. We (Danny was on the call too) walked through every detail of the day of the wedding including the rehearsal.
Take aways - a few items to be finalized, proposed adjustments to ensure fluidity and most importantly a reminder to have my big sister in charge of my phone on the day of. I'm just kidding about the most importantly part, well, #sortakindanotreally lol
This week we're:
- Reviewing the design and draft to finalize the program and get it printed.
- Finishing the seating cards
- Finalizing the seating arrangements
- Reviewing all the vendor contracts and taking care of any remaining balances.
- Ensuring that everything needed for next week will be ready for pick-up by next Thursday the latest.
- Packing for the honeymoon!!
Attitude -Let the chips fall where they may.
At this point all planning is complete. There's no use in working yourself up about anything.
Whatever goes wrong goes wrong (just don't tell the bride about it) lol.
Whoever shows up, is meant to be there.
Que sera sera. What is to be will be.
My only goal, my only hope, for that day is to see Danny standing at the end of the aisle waiting for me.
What's in a wedding?
Well, according to wedding planners and experts there's plenty of things that go into a wedding, but the truth is most of it is just stuff.
Passing vanities captured in a moment thanks to photos and videos.
Unfortunately, in America, the photos last while 50% of the marriages are dissolved.
What Should Be in a Wedding?
- JESUS - GOD is love. #needIsaymore
- Love - a deep appreciation, a willingness to put the other before yourself and equipped with forgiveness.
- Covenant - irrevocable.
- Friendship - helps with communication. You should like each other at the very least, the majority of the time, lol.
- Togetherness - you will be life partners.
- Trust - sustained confidence.
- Determination - tenacious stubbornness and a refusal to give up on your marriage.
- Commitment - loyalty, fidelity, to GOD, to the other person, and to making your marriage work.
The "stuff" (i.e. dress, centerpieces, floral arrangements, etc.) really shouldn't matter. Any stuff is just a plus. Even the rings are extra. They are only a symbol they don't determine the worth of your marriage.
While a ceremony at the courthouse is not what GOD had in mind for Danny and I, there is certainly nothing wrong with it. It can still be as grand a wedding day as any celebration with a $100,000 budget.
Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage is honorable in every way, so husbands and wives should be faithful to each other…"
Whether the ceremony is in a living room, after a church service in a back room, at the courthouse, or in a grand ballroom - marriage is honorable. When you have those key ingredients you're well on your way to a lasting marriage. And if you choose to pass up the grand ballroom and go an alternative route you're saving a lot of money too! #naanbutthetruth
Marriage is honorable.
I'll end this post with some well wishes someone gave Danny and I a few weeks back,
"I hope your MARRIAGE is worth more than than the rings and that it is filled with more Good Times than the wedding."
The MARRIAGE is more important than the wedding.
It's truly my desire that everyone called to walk the path of marriage be in a successful and healthy marriage.
This is my last Wedding Wednesday post as a single woman. Yay!!
Next week DANNY will be writing the final Wedding Wednesday post.
We will share pictures and video from the wedding here.
I can't Thank You enough for reading and being a part of this process.
Best wishes for love,