Wedding Wednesdays: The Hyde...Out.

“I knew myself, at the first breath of this new life, to be more wicked, tenfold more wicked, sold a slave to my original evil; and the thought, in that moment, braced and delighted me like wine.”-Dr. Jekyll


Such an intriguing story! The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, that is. Dr. Jekyll was a reputable professor who became consumed with the contrasting elements of good and evil. Jekyll concocts a potion that is intended to bring out the good in him. This potion was designed to maximize his potential for good and put his benevolent characteristics on display.

But the morality serum had a reverse effect.

It did the complete opposite, transforming the doctor into a menacing brut know as Mr. Hyde.

Hyde is villainous, he is the antithesis of everything good and he represents the bad that lives inside or Dr. Jekyll. However, although Hyde is wicked and his intentions criminal, the doctor feels liberated when his evil alter ego is in control.

He feels free when trapping his victims; he comes alive as a ravenous murderer.

Twisted isn’t it?

I wonder if Dr. Jekyll’s identity crisis still permeates today...

In fact, it does!

We all posses the capacity to be moral or immoral, good or evil, Jekyll or Hyde. For the majority of my life I roamed the streets as Mr. Hyde, preying on women and anyone I deemed weaker than me.

Mr. Hyde is the external expression of an internal deficiency.

We can call it the flesh or our human nature, but Hyde is easily summed up as the result of our degenerate way of thinking.

When our minds have not been changed by the power of God’s word, being impressed upon by popular trends and the status quo is inevitable. This way of thinking is characterized by violence and lust, greed and selfish ambition.

My view of a husband was created with this thinking.

I thought that a “good husband” was corny.

He was always chipper and pleasant.

He was a yes man and his wife wore the pants.

He was happy and singing and prancing…[in short,]

He was Wayne Brady.


Yes, that’s what I thought;

Wayne Brady was my image of a "good" husband.

I thought, “How stupid is that? That’s not me, I’m not that guy and I don’t ever want to be!”

The sad but true realities of young black men [in America] may have had a hand in shaping my view of a good husband.

Many of my childhood friends and I hail from dysfunctional matriarchal households. That’s no knock against single mothers, but if we’re honest we would agree that its not God’s intent for the family. Because of this incomplete upbringing, my view of certain things, namely a good husband, was just as incomplete. And even more than that, it was twisted.

What I saw as chipper and pleasant was really JOY.

What I demonized as a yes man was really a PROVIDER.

His wife doesn’t wear the pants, he TEACHES her submission by submitting to her first.

He is not Wayne Brady,

he is not corny or lame,

he is CHRIST.

“Girl I love you like Christ loves the church”

...Probably the weakest line that has ever been quoted, but its derived from one of the strongest marital teachings in all of scripture. Paul instructed husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church to the extent of giving up his life for the purpose of her holiness, to cleanse her and make her presentable. Then he says again, love your wives as you as love your own bodies. [Ephesians 5:21-33]

Did you eat? If so, why is she hungry?

Do you have on lotion? If so, why is she ashy?

By following Paul’s instruction I can be certain that both the spiritual and natural needs of my wife are met.

Dr. Jekyll soon discovered that his evil counterpart was not the split personality that he first assumed it was. He realized that Mr. Hyde wasn’t a person he became when the moon was full; rather it was who he already was even in the daytime.Hyde was simply an external expression of an internal deficiency.

Similarly, we don’t sin because all the stars are aligned and there was no way of avoiding this inevitable pit fall.We sin because our way of thinking says its okay.Even when your conviction is SCREAMING at you to run in the opposite direction this way of thinking finds an excuse to override it.

This way of thinking is what nudged me to critique a good husband rather than learn how to be one.

It’s extremely poisonous to have an unchanged degenerate way of thinking.

What kind if person thinks murder is good or compassion is weak?

Who can say that mistreating your wife is admirable?

“They don’t make no award for that!”

Isn’t it better to LOVE than to hate,

to FORGIVE than condemn,

to UNDERSTAND than be understood?

In marriage it is.

Cara and Daniel - 10.23.14 (C)
Cara and Daniel - 10.23.14 (C)

In 3 days, Cara and I will enter into a life-long covenant and one of the things I’m most thankful for are high-ceilings. Naturally you’re thinking of decadent living rooms and chandeliers but I’m speaking of potential, the headroom necessary for growth. Growth to escape that which we thought was liberating but is actually entangling and growth to carry the mantle of a leader.

Hyde was a sickness similar to a severe heart condition. And just like any heart condition, without proper monitoring, it can return.

The best EKG is walking with The Lord daily in humility.

I pray that your mind would be renewed, your twisted views straightened out, and that there would be nothing Hyde-ing in your heart.