The Musings of A Stepmommy


Great day pilgrims! It's the middle of the week again :-)

Thank you for lingering a moment with me.

Today I wanted to share my thoughts on one of my newest hats -


Aside from his love, the greatest gift, and responsibility, that Danny has given me is being a stepmother.


The idea frightened me at first because it was a concept foreign to me except from what I saw in movies and books.

In my mind stepmoms always got a bad wrap -

The kid(s) never liked them.

The mother of the child(ren) hated them.


Scenes from the movie Stepmom with Julia Roberts and images of the wicked, evil stepmom from the fairytales were my reference points.

I did not want to be that. 

The reality of becoming a stepmom sank in when we got engaged.

I will confess that throughout our engagement I was an emotional wreck in that area. One moment I was at peace with the idea the next moment I was in tears because I could not articulate the anxiety I was feeling. Becoming a stepmom was a BIG deal and I did not want to fail.

So in that way - I experienced the worry of all new moms - a fear of failing.

After spending quality time with Azariah, I can no longer imagine embarking on the journey of motherhood any other way. 

And while I did not experience the miracle of childbirth with Azariah, I have certainly experienced the miracle of unconditional love.

But let me take a moment to honor the moms out there.

Mamas are superheroes in my book.


After all they are the ones who carry these blessed gifts of love for all those weeks growing inside of them.

The ones who stand witness as their children let out their first cries, take their first steps, and say their first words.

They are the ones who lose sleep.

They are the masters of diaper changing.

The mighty wipers of runny noses.

Super snugglers.

The cleaner-uppers of mayhem and messes.

Highly exalted teachers of all that is wrong and right.

They are preparers of food, personal stylists, and stand up comedians. 


Mamas are magic.

And I vow to remind Azariah of that truth about her own mama every chance I get.

Stepmoms...well, we are creatures of a different kind.


More often than not stepmoms do not have the privilege of hearing a child's first cries or seeing their first step or listening to their first words.


Stepmoms experience "firsts" too

A stepmom's "firsts" are very different - especially when she has had no other children.

And as a stepmom, as Azariah's stepmom, I am humbled to have these firsts with her...


The first time I heard her voice.

The first time I saw her.

The first time we spent time together.

The first time we cooked together.

The first time we danced together.

And I am looking forward to the many other firsts we will share together.


Now that Danny and I are married, Azariah is my daughter. When people ask if we have children I say yes, we have a daughter.

I may be a stepmom but I could never consider Azariah my stepdaughter because I love her as my own flesh and blood. Giving birth to her could not have made me love her any more.

Stepmoms were not created to compete with mamas. How can they? There's no competition!

All a stepmommy like myself can do is love outrageously and live generously.

I will never attempt to take the place of Azariah's mama, that is a sacred, God-ordained position. But I will continue to do everything in my power to make her feel that she is my own.

My hope for Azariah is that she will grow up with more love than her mom could have ever wished for her.

Good mamas want the best for their children and Azariah's mother is as good as they come - Azariah is a direct result of that.

Sweet Azariah,

Even at 4 years old we can all see how brilliant you are. Your smile lights up the darkest rooms. Your laughter is music to our ears. 

The three of us - me, your mom, and your dad are blessed to have a hand in guiding you during these formative years. And we look with expectation toward the woman you will become. A generous, wise, confident woman who loves God. A woman whose love for her neighbors will inspire her to change the world. 

How blessed we are. 

I am thankful for the faith Danny had in me and grateful for the calm reassurance of my own mother. Ultimately it God's love and Azariah that gave me the courage to embark on this journey.


Now Azariah and I swap stories about the evil stepmothers in fairytales without any distress on my end.

We both know that when it comes to evil stepmothers, I'm not one of them.

May the remainder of your week be filled with gratitude, kindness, and productivity.

Blessings always,