WEDDED Wednesdays: The Adams' Story
Welcome to "WEDDED Wednesdays." Each week we share our friends' stories of love and marriage with you! Real LOVE stories. This week - Meet the Adams!
THE ADAMS' STORY
How long have you been married? 5 months and 3 weeks. Next Wednesday will be 5 months!!
How did you meet? We both ran track in college. We met at a track meet!
"The absolute funniest day ever! I was sitting with my best friend Terri at the Virginia Tech Track Meet, and it just so happened that they placed our schools (Georgia Tech and UGA) right next to each other, and in walks this guy who just really grabbed my attention.
I nudged Terri and we both glanced in his direction. Out of the numerous glances, more like uninterrupted stares, this guy must have felt us looking at him, and he started to look back.
So we played this eye-dance the ENTIRE day. I got up and strategically placed myself within conversation reach to hep ease his nerves, as clearly he was interested but seemed a little shy. [lol] However, despite being next to him (wellll with one person in between) he STILL didn't speak - he just looked and looked away.
So I went back to my team. Another time when I saw him coming in my direction I got up to walk by him, and we "accidentally" bumped into each other, but still no conversation. By the end of the meet, my teammate Tonio told me his name so I could follow up.
As Phil got ready to run the final race of the meet, my teammate saw it fit to scream, " PHIL , THIS GIRL (points at me) WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!" Talk about emabarrasing. I ducked and tried to hide my face from the embarrassment that came upon me.
We headed to the bus where my teammate received a message from Phil asking him about what he said and for my name.
However, after my initial research I realized that he was unavailable(he had a girl) and so I decided to forget the wonderful and very hilarious day.
A week later, Phil alleged that he told my teammate to give me his number (I found this out after we started dating), but I never received that message.
A little over a month later on April 2 (our wedding date!) I received a message from my Jamaican track and field group at Florida Relays "Your boy is here." I was utterly confused, as I was very single. Which boy? I asked. "Mr. Red and Black," they responded. Now I was very confused because I despised the University of Georgia and had no friends there.
Who are you all talking about???? They responded "Phillip Adams." I busted out in laughter, and decided to take them up on their claims. I'm not afraid, so I added him on Facebook. We started chatting that night.
Phil told me he was looking for me but couldn't find me. (I thought he was lying at first but I tried searching for myself and couldn't find me either). He even went on our track and field roster, LOL!
But all in all that conversation sparked a beautiful friendship where we talked everyday, listened to one another, picked each other up when we were down, encouraged, laugh, cried, matured, and shared deeply with one another. I knew that we started something so beautiful, and that I found the person I wanted to do all those things with - every year for the rest of my life.
That side of me felt guilty.
What most people don't know is that our friendship started while Phil was still in a relationship. I tried to trick myself into believing we could handle being friends, I gave him advice on helping his struggling relationship, and became his sounding board. But feelings started to grow - we skyped for hours on end, phone conversations that never ended, and text messages the lengths of books in between.
The side of me that felt guilty did not override the side of me that desired to be with him. After about a month and a half ( I saw him only twice during this time), I decided that I couldn't in good conscience continue to do this to another woman, even if we were only extremely close friends.
So [one day] I deleted every piece of contact information I had for him and cried throughout the day. That same night, he called my best friend to say that he closed the chapter on his failed relationship.
[After learning that communication resumed and] We continued our friendship for 2 more months ( the beginning of the most chaotic year of our lives). It was out of chaos (a huge argument that really was going to be our breaking point) that he asked me to be with him officially.
We went through so much that first year, (that would be a whole other book) and I felt God was punishing us for the way we came together but after godly counseling (from the same pastor that married us) God was able to redeem our relationship and has now brought us to where we are today!
Happy and married! #happilyevvaadams
As a Christian, you're never too far from God's grace! It really is sufficient! But His grace isn't something we should abuse!" - Jhanelle
How long did you date? We officially dated for 3 years and 9 months until we were married.
How would you describe your wedding? We had our wedding on Holy Thursday (we didn't know when we picked it).
"There was a good number of people who didn't make it, but I didn't even realize it until way after the wedding. I was so focused on all the love in the room that checking to see who was there didn't even cross my mind. Our wedding was really a fairytale that came to life. It was storming, but that added to the magical feel of the day. We had our wedding inside of a chapel with huge windows, with the front of the chapel nestled in a nice wooded area . It was really beautiful. We also had a blast at our reception! It went better than I could have ever imagined! I just soaked in that day!" - Jhanelle
Marriage Mission Statement: Our mission is to restore and maintain the family as God has designed it, by inspiring young couples to live Christ-filled lives, mentoring young people in our generation and generations to come by being Christ's hands, eyes, ears, mouth and feet with our lives as living testimonies. Titus 2:7, 1 Timothy 4:12 #leadbyexample
Best Advice You Received Before Marriage: Understanding how unmet expectations lead to disappointments. Many of us grow up with certain ideals of what our spouse should and should not do but don't communicate that up front. In turn we get upset. That frustration comes from an unmet expectation, which I'm some cases is not communicated so we've switched "expectations" to desires- and look at it as things that would make us happy instead of demanding certain things of each other- so there aren't firm gender roles in our house.
"Coupled with that, I've learned that Jesus is my everything, not my husband and I cannot place unreasonable expectations on him (things I should be bringing to God) and expect him to deliver on them all- I will be disappointed every time. I have to let go, and trust the God in my husband." -Jhanelle
Favorite Activity To Do Together: Binge watch TV series!! We love doing that!
Advice For Engaged Couples? Engage with other couples who are on a similar path as you! Having a strong Christ-filled community is essential to your success! We even did a guest pledge at our wedding so everyone was aware of this. Be honest about where you are with your hurts and hangups. Make peace with all your inner turmoil caused from past circumstances before starting a new journey, at the very least ensure that your partner knows exactly where you are mentally and emotionally. [Make the most of it]
"Personally, I went through lot of repenting, forgiveness and reconciliation during this time." -Jhanelle
[There is something so powerful about transparency! I admire these two for sharing so much of their story with us. Phil and Jhanelle are working on a new project together that is sure to inspire many, single and married alike. We're excited to see where it takes them and of course we'll share any links and details once it goes live! xoxo - CF]